Updated (Org. pub 10/2/17)
When it comes to dating and relationships, there’s something almost all daters are guilty of….
…I myself was guilty of this one thing for many many years.
Even though I pretty much always knew better, for a long time I never fully let go of the dream. You know which one I’m talking about. That one you read about in fairy tales. Cinderella was saved by her Prince Charming… Snow White was too… and Rapunzel… and Sleeping Beauty… and…
Bottom line: I wanted to be saved. But saved from what exactly?
By the time I hit my late teens I knew this fairly tale dream of being saved by Prince Charming was just that–a fairy tale. I knew this! But that didn’t stop me from still having a burning desire for it. Crazy, eh?
In the back–or maybe even the front–of my mind was the thought that if only I found that one person who could complete my life… well… then life would be grand, right?
Remember what Tom Cruise says in Jerry Maguire: “You complete me.”
Don’t lie to me and tell me you don’t wish you were Dorothy Boyd in that moment.
You may be tempted to say: You’re just wrong, I don’t want to be saved from anything.
Oh no? Being saved doesn’t always mean being saved from a life of poverty or cruelty or evil stepsisters. There are many things that we wish to be saved from, and not all of those things we may stop and think about on a conscious level.
So what do you want to be saved from? boredom? loneliness?
Everyone who dates wants to be saved from those things don’t they? Tell me something I don’t know!
The key is to find out what’s driving you to want to be in relationship so badly and then you have to figure out whether or not your expectations are realistic. The biggest killer of relationships is dashed expectations.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have standards, but expecting perfection in relationships is like expecting Santa Claus to shoot down your chimney every day of the year. It just ain’t gonna happen….
The only expectation you should really have is to enjoy someone’s company say, around 80 percent of the time, give or take. The rest of the time the person you’re with might end up being in a mood you don’t like, they may say something you don’t like, they may not make the kind of money you wish they would make, they may not have the friends or family you wish them to have and they may not be able to whisk you away to a castle on a hill.
Don’t put up with things like abuse, being cheated on or other truly unsavory things. Other than that, just try to savor someone’s company as much as you can and let the little stupid things slide. You’ll enjoy dating someone so much more.
This is what happened to me anyway. I’ve managed to stay in a relationship for well over a year now, and for me that’s like f-ing amazing!