Been feeling disconnected and out of it the last several days… and haven’t been interacting with my fellow bloggers as much as I usually do. I’ve been reserving most of my energy for work, where I can flip the switch and act the part. Ya, know what I mean? At night I go home exhausted from keeping up the charade.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my job, but it’s a place where you have to try your best to be friendly, engaging and outgoinging. Most of the time I don’t have to fake it as that is essentially my nature. Except lately there have have been a lot of personal problems to deal with and stress in my life to get through so it’s left me feeling like zoning out whenever I have the chance. For people with BPD this term is called disassociation. It becomes a useful, although not exactly healthy, tool for dealing with stress.
I will get through it though. The best thing anyone can do in such a situation is try as much as possible to harness the negative energy and use it as a springboard to bigger and better things. Getting control of emotions is a skill to be practiced digilantly, especially if you have a disorder that can make it difficult to succesfully control emotions.
I know myself and I know I will snap out of it soon. Hope everyone else is slogging though too and doing their best. That’s really all we can do!
More Memos at Midnight: