“I saw myself, quite correctly, as unfit for the educational and social systems.“
Reading the book Girl, Interupted by Susanna Kaysen, many years ago now, those words stuck with me more than any others… and I’ve never forgotten them. I believe it’s one of the most accurate statements that can be applied to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I’ve spent a lot of time in my life failing miserably at both.
Even though I love the movie that was made from the book and consider it to be one of my favorite films, I believe the book is an essential read for people with BPD. She was a trailblazer. The first, that I know of, to write a memoir about living with BPD and the book spends much more time specifically on issues of mental health.
Being in a state of recovery for many years now, I’ve slowly improved my ability to navigate the social systems that surround me. I’m getting through it much better now. I’m getting better at maintaining relationships, in all their many forms, and it feels great. Still, it’s an ongoing battle and I have a lot of regrets about all the years I lost and all the dreadful mistakes I made. I often still think of those words that Susanna Kaysen once wrote.
Even though we may sometimes feel alone and like we have no one, we never really are. If all else fails, there are always all those wonderful people who live within the pages of great books. They never let you down and are always there to keep you company. These days, I don’t feel so alone. I have people in my life who I can count on. Still, I never forget about my book friends who saved me from feeling so alone all those years ago!
Happy reading and good mental health!