Moody Monday: Back to black, social anxiety vs narcissism

It’s been nice taking a break from mental health for a short while. I’ve long been obsessed with the topic, especially after being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in 2012. Beyond that, psychology is simply fascinating isn’t it? Why do we humans do some of the crazy stuff we do–at times amazing, at times deplorable.

I’ve tackled a lot of hurdles when it comes to BPD. I still have the urge to do some of the crazy stuff I used to do–not sure if that will ever fully go away–the difference now is that I simply do not act on those urges. I’m able to talk myself out of all that.

Idaho Falls, ID – JoAnn Ryan

Social anxiety and occasional depression continue to be a problem though, as I know it is for a lot of other people. In my case, I believe social anxiety is what often leads to my depression and was probably a major contributing factor toward my BPD. Interesting to think about.

Overcoming social anxiety remains a mystery to those of us who suffer with it. On one hand, I can tell myself that I fear no one and that I don’t give a fiddle’s fart if people judge me one way or another. One the other hand, there is reality. Reality isn’t always rational. I recently watched this TED Talk: “Social Anxiety in the Modern World” by Dr. Fallon Goodman, which I enjoyed and plan to watch often.

Idaho Falls, ID – JoAnn Ryan

Social anxiety and narcissism

One question I had recently is whether social anxiety tends to be narcissistic. After all, both involve being hyper-focused on one’s self to the point of detriment. I need not have worried too much though as there are a lot of differences. I found this article from AnxietyBoss.com helpful: “Is Social Anxiety Related To Narcissism?

With social anxiety, a person is ultra-sensitive to rejection and they blame themselves for it. Staying away from certain kinds of people is like a self-imposed punishment. That’s most definitely the case for me.

With narcissism, a person blames everyone else for their problems. No one is noticing how great they are. A certain amount of narcissism is thought to be normal in order to maintain a healthy self-image but of course it can go way too far.


Anywho, I’ve decided to carry over Moody Monday posts from the Midnight Harmony phase of my life–just couldn’t stay away from the topic of mental health.

The photos are from my recent trip to Idaho. So beautiful isn’t? I hadn’t seen fall in person in close to a decade so it ended up being more amazing than I ever thought. I have so many more to post!

Hope everyone is doing well and keeping sane!

Idaho Falls, ID – JoAnn Ryan

19 thoughts on “Moody Monday: Back to black, social anxiety vs narcissism

  1. Regarding social anxiety, JoAnn, “sanity” (quote-unquote) exults between the polar opposites. Somewhere beyond the afflicted obsessing over drowning in poor self-perceptions, and short following contrasting advice not to care what others think.

    For one thing, the latter advice is impossible. We are social creatures, after all, and we need constant input and confirmation.

    Better, I think, to understand everyone has issues, even if they’re not your own particular brand, and even if he/she doesn’t acknowledge them. In recognizing this, our own challenges don’t see quite so daunting, or as unique. Plus, this realism invites the sympathy and affirmation which also are out there.

    Oh, great pictures of fall splendor back “home,” at least where it was three or four lifetimes ago. I love the contrast of vibrant leaves and trees still clinging to their greenery!

    Speaking of contrasts, look at you, snapping fall colors just yesterday (more or less) and falling asleep tonight to rustling palms!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s nice to have contrasts in life. Keeps the mind occupied. As far as social anxiety there is the problem of knowing what to do and then actually doing it. Getting the brain to stop automatically doing certain things takes a lot of brain training. That’s something that all those self-help gurus who make everything look so easy won’t usually say. Breaking brain patterns is a lot harder than it seems that it should be.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a good point, JoAnn. Breaking our habits often is more daunting than is coping with external challenges.

        You have to figure, in the first several years of life, everything is thrown at us, everything is brand new. The only way we can handle this tsunami is to come up with a “system” for dealing with various situations.

        That system quickly crystalizes into habits. They make up who we are, and how we identify our place in this world. Naturally, changing that configuration is monumentally difficult.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Creatures of habit… whoever said that first was smart as it’s so true. I suppose it works great when it comes to brushing the teeth or eating vegetables but of course not so good when it comes to a lot of other things. It is amazing how habits become so ingrained in us that it becomes difficult to break them. Mind over matter sounds logical but it’s difficult to achieve sometimes.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Oh, I agree. You have to figure, in changing our habits, we’re asking ourselves to repudiate all that got us to where we are.

            Some have the wisdom to understand that’s what got us in our current mess, but most become defensive, as in “There’s no way this is my fault. I just have really bad luck.”

            Definitely a tough (coco)nut to crack.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. You’ve identified a sad aspect of mental health. Some people can’t see that their own habits and judgements are they’re greatest problems. Can’t say too much about that though as I was one of them for a long time.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Oh, but you can say something about it JoAnn, as you’ve lived it. Many appreciate the insight you had to wrestle from experience.

                Here, the tense is all-important. It’s challenge which was yours. Not “is,” but “was.” To those for whom it still “is,” finally, someone who understands!

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  2. The autumn leaves photos are stunning! Our autumn was not so colourful this year, it rained too much, and then it stormed too much. Maybe next year … 😉
    The people of Trinidad seem to be of a very different disposition, more enjoying, more outgoing etc., this might be a good influence. I think you came far, when you can talk yourself out of these urges.

    Actually, the Trinidadians (???) remind me a lot of my African friends back in Germany. They were always laughing and making fun, even when they were working hard. I thought that was admirable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes that’s true. I think certain religions can play a big part as well–your not supposed to think about yourself, only other people. Luckily that mindset is changing but I think it still lingers in the subconscious.

      Liked by 1 person

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